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If youve been around the self-help material for any length of time, youve no doubt heard this at least once
The unconscious mind doesnt hear negatives.
Or any of the variables, such as it doesnt recognize negatives, doesnt understand negatives, etc. but you get the point.
And, admittedly, I have made this assertion on many occasions in the past as well.
The unconscious mind doesnt hear negatives.
But as I have thought about it, I have to ask
Really?
This advice is usually given in terms of goal setting, because so many people will set goals based on what they dont want. Ask them what they want, and they will respond:
Well, I dont want to be poor anymore.
I want a person who doesnt smoke.
I want a person who isnt like my ex.
Any coach or self-help guru will point out that the Universe is going to ignore the negative, and move in your direction that thing that you are focusing on i.e. poverty, folks who smoke, and partners who arewell, whatever you decided
you didnt like about the last one you were with.
The mind responds to what is being focused on.
But, (and Im going against conventional thinking here) the mind does not simply negate the negative.
Exercise:
Spend about five minutes saying, I am not wonderful!
Okay unless you are tapping, dont really do that. Hopefully just reading the suggestion you thought, I dont want to do that!
Why not? If the unconscious mind doesnt hear negatives, wouldnt you be filled with a great feeling as the mind simply picks up the words I am wonderful?
Couldnt we authentically experience joy by walking around proclaiming, Im not happy, and I dont want to be happy?
Do children find themselves happily consuming vegetables as their unconscious flips their statement, I dont like broccoli!?
No.
The unconscious mind is not simply hard of hearing.
The problem with negative desire statements is not that the mind cant hear or understand the negation, but that it is looking for a feeling to focus on, and so builds with the material it is given. The reason Im not happy doesnt turn into Im happy is because the mind understands the lack of happiness
it is a feeling it knows well and it finds the opposite.
But what feeling comes from the lack of smoking? Just talking about smoking brings up the unwanted feeling there isnt a clear opposite that is triggered. The mind doesnt so easily put it together that, If this guy doesnt smoke, he must then be committed to his own physical health, and takes care of himself,
and will likely take care of me, and that feels very good! Because that isnt an automatic conclusion.
Same with the question of wealth or a partners qualities. Speaking of what isnt wanted only brings up the negative feelings that the mind can easily identify it is not naturally inclined to go looking for the feeling that is desired.
It is great advice to create desire statements that dont contain negatives, but not because the mind simply cant understand the negatives.
Ask something about the qualities they truly love about anything or anyone, and you are unlikely to get a string of, Well, it isnt this he/she isnt thathe/she doesnt do this
Recognizing what you dont want can be a great start, but in creating powerful desire statements, you need to then figure out what you do want in the absence of the unwanted traits. You need to discover what would easily inspire good feelings
in you because it is the good feeling you are ultimately looking for.
If you arent clear on what kind of partner you do want, and only say that you dont want a partner who smokes, you might just as well leave out the partner as the cigarettes.
Ask yourself, What do I really want? What do I believe would feel really good?
Or you could try asking, What do I really not want? - since the mind is just a simple tool that cant recognize negatives.
Not!
And despite how this article comes across, I am not really meaning to criticize the conventional wisdom, but to encourage you to be clear about what you are doing and why, rather than accepting that this is just the way it is. It is simply accepting rules in this way that got most of us in trouble in the first place!
You deserve the experience you want focus on what you believe it might be, and be open to the fact that the Universe may have something even better in mind.
